Two and a Half Men

Two and a Half Men Series
Genre: Comedy
Premiere: 2011 - 2012
IMDB Rating: 7.1/10
Sessons: 12
Full Episodes: 263
Watch Stream Online:
Full Show Summary

A hedonistic jingle writer's free-wheeling life comes to an abrupt halt when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move into his beach-front house.
Two and a Half Men S12E16
Last Episode, 19 February 2015: Season 12, Episode 16: Of Course He's Dead (2)
Charlie Harper is alive.
  • Episode Guide
  • Cast
Date Aired Two and a Half Men Episodes
Season 1
Season 1, Episode 0: Most Chicks Won't Eat Veal: Original Pilot
22 September 2003 Season 1, Episode 1: Pilot
29 September 2003 Season 1, Episode 2: Big Flappy Bastards
06 October 2003 Season 1, Episode 3: Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell
13 October 2003 Season 1, Episode 4: If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song I'm Going to Take a Nap
20 October 2003 Season 1, Episode 5: The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up With a Hump
27 October 2003 Season 1, Episode 6: Did You Check With the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?
03 November 2003 Season 1, Episode 7: If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake
10 November 2003 Season 1, Episode 8: Twenty-Five Little Pre-pubers Without a Snoot-ful
17 November 2003 Season 1, Episode 9: Phase One, Complete
24 November 2003 Season 1, Episode 10: Merry Thanksgiving
15 December 2003 Season 1, Episode 11: Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor
05 January 2004 Season 1, Episode 12: Camel Filters + Pheromones
12 January 2004 Season 1, Episode 13: Sara Like Puny Alan
02 February 2004 Season 1, Episode 14: I Can't Afford Hyenas
09 February 2004 Season 1, Episode 15: Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick
16 February 2004 Season 1, Episode 16: That Was Saliva, Alan
23 February 2004 Season 1, Episode 17: Ate The Hamburgers, Wearing The Hats
01 March 2004 Season 1, Episode 18: An Old Flame With a New Wick
22 March 2004 Season 1, Episode 19: I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You
19 April 2004 Season 1, Episode 20: Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark
03 May 2004 Season 1, Episode 21: No Sniffing, No Wowing
10 May 2004 Season 1, Episode 22: My Doctor has a Cow Puppet
17 May 2004 Season 1, Episode 23: Just Like Buffalo
24 May 2004 Season 1, Episode 24: Can You Feel My Finger?
Season 2
20 September 2004 Season 2, Episode 1: Back Off Mary Poppins
27 September 2004 Season 2, Episode 2: Enjoy Those Garlic Balls
04 October 2004 Season 2, Episode 3: A Bag Full of Jawea
11 October 2004 Season 2, Episode 4: Go Get Mommy's Bra
18 October 2004 Season 2, Episode 5: Bad News from the Clinic
25 October 2004 Season 2, Episode 6: The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance
08 November 2004 Season 2, Episode 7: A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana
15 November 2004 Season 2, Episode 8: Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers
22 November 2004 Season 2, Episode 9: Yes, Monsignor
29 November 2004 Season 2, Episode 10: The Salmon Under My Sweater
13 December 2004 Season 2, Episode 11: Last Chance to See Those Tattoos
03 January 2005 Season 2, Episode 12: A Lungful of Alan
17 January 2005 Season 2, Episode 13: Get Off My Hair
31 January 2005 Season 2, Episode 14: Those Big Pink Things with Coconut
07 February 2005 Season 2, Episode 15: Smell the Umbrella Stand
14 February 2005 Season 2, Episode 16: Can You Eat Human Flesh With Wooden Teeth?
21 February 2005 Season 2, Episode 17: Woo-Hoo, A Hernia-Exam!
07 March 2005 Season 2, Episode 18: It Was Mame, Mom
21 March 2005 Season 2, Episode 19: A Low, Gutteral Tongue-Flapping Noise
18 April 2005 Season 2, Episode 20: I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey
02 May 2005 Season 2, Episode 21: A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On
09 May 2005 Season 2, Episode 22: That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother
16 May 2005 Season 2, Episode 23: Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab
23 May 2005 Season 2, Episode 24: Does This Smell Funny to You?
Season 3
19 September 2005 Season 3, Episode 1: Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts
26 September 2005 Season 3, Episode 2: Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover
03 October 2005 Season 3, Episode 3: Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark
10 October 2005 Season 3, Episode 4: Your Dismissive Attidude Towards Boobs
17 October 2005 Season 3, Episode 5: We Called It Mr. Pinky
24 October 2005 Season 3, Episode 6: Hi, Mr. Horned One
07 November 2005 Season 3, Episode 7: Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop
14 November 2005 Season 3, Episode 8: That Voodoo That I Do Do
21 November 2005 Season 3, Episode 9: Madame and Her Special friend
28 November 2005 Season 3, Episode 10: Something Salted and Twisted
19 December 2005 Season 3, Episode 11: Santa's Village of the Damned
09 January 2006 Season 3, Episode 12: That Special Tug
23 January 2006 Season 3, Episode 13: Humiliation is a Visual Medium
06 February 2006 Season 3, Episode 14: Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded
27 February 2006 Season 3, Episode 15: My Tongue is Meat
06 March 2006 Season 3, Episode 16: Ergo, The Booty Call
13 March 2006 Season 3, Episode 17: The Unfortunate Little Schnauser
20 March 2006 Season 3, Episode 18: The Spit-Covered Cobbler
10 April 2006 Season 3, Episode 19: Golly Moses, She's A Muffin
24 April 2006 Season 3, Episode 20: Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro
01 May 2006 Season 3, Episode 21: And the Plot Moistens
08 May 2006 Season 3, Episode 22: Just Once With Aunt Sophie
15 May 2006 Season 3, Episode 23: Arguments for the Quickie
22 May 2006 Season 3, Episode 24: That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite
Season 4
18 September 2006 Season 4, Episode 1: Working for Caligula
25 September 2006 Season 4, Episode 2: Who's Vod Kanockers?
02 October 2006 Season 4, Episode 3: The Sea is a Harsh Mistress
09 October 2006 Season 4, Episode 4: A Pot Smoking Monkey
16 October 2006 Season 4, Episode 5: A Live Woman of Proven Fertility
23 October 2006 Season 4, Episode 6: Apologies for the Frivolity
06 November 2006 Season 4, Episode 7: Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head
13 November 2006 Season 4, Episode 8: Release the Dogs
20 November 2006 Season 4, Episode 9: Corey's Been Dead For an Hour
27 November 2006 Season 4, Episode 10: Kissing Abraham Lincoln
11 December 2006 Season 4, Episode 11: Walnuts and Demerol
08 January 2007 Season 4, Episode 12: Castrating Sheep in Montana
22 January 2007 Season 4, Episode 13: Don't Worry, Speed Racer
05 February 2007 Season 4, Episode 14: That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami
12 February 2007 Season 4, Episode 15: My Damn Stalker
19 February 2007 Season 4, Episode 16: Young People Have Phlegm Too
26 February 2007 Season 4, Episode 17: I Merely Slept With a Commie
19 March 2007 Season 4, Episode 18: It Never Rains in Hooterville
09 April 2007 Season 4, Episode 19: Smooth as a Ken Doll
16 April 2007 Season 4, Episode 20: Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot
23 April 2007 Season 4, Episode 21: Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous
30 April 2007 Season 4, Episode 22: Mr. McGlue's Feedbag
07 May 2007 Season 4, Episode 23: Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-lookin
14 May 2007 Season 4, Episode 24: Prostitutes and Gelato
Season 5
24 September 2007 Season 5, Episode 1: Large Birds, Spiders and Mom
01 October 2007 Season 5, Episode 2: Media Room Slash Dungeon
08 October 2007 Season 5, Episode 3: Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo
15 October 2007 Season 5, Episode 4: City of Great Racks
22 October 2007 Season 5, Episode 5: Putting Swim Fins on a Cat
29 October 2007 Season 5, Episode 6: Help Daddy Find His Toenail
05 November 2007 Season 5, Episode 7: The Leather Gear is in the Guest Room
12 November 2007 Season 5, Episode 8: Is There a Mrs. Waffles?
19 November 2007 Season 5, Episode 9: Shoes, Hats, Pickle, Jar Lids.
26 November 2007 Season 5, Episode 10: Kinda Like Necrophilia
17 March 2008 Season 5, Episode 11: Meander to Your Dander
24 March 2008 Season 5, Episode 12: A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh
31 March 2008 Season 5, Episode 13: The Soil is Moist
14 April 2008 Season 5, Episode 14: Winky-Dink Time
21 April 2008 Season 5, Episode 15: Rough Night in Hump Junction (aka His Ugly Bundle)
28 April 2008 Season 5, Episode 16: Look At Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty
05 May 2008 Season 5, Episode 17: Fish in a Drawer
12 May 2008 Season 5, Episode 18: If My Hole Could Talk
19 May 2008 Season 5, Episode 19: Waiting for the Right Snapper
Season 6
22 September 2008 Season 6, Episode 1: Taterhead is Our Love Child
29 September 2008 Season 6, Episode 2: Pie Hole, Herb
06 October 2008 Season 6, Episode 3: Damn You, Eggs Benedict
13 October 2008 Season 6, Episode 4: The Flavin' and the Mavin'
20 October 2008 Season 6, Episode 5: A Jock Strap in Hell
03 November 2008 Season 6, Episode 6: It's Always Nazi Week (1)
10 November 2008 Season 6, Episode 7: Best H.O. Money Can Buy
17 November 2008 Season 6, Episode 8: Pinocchio's Mouth
24 November 2008 Season 6, Episode 9: The Mooch At The Boo
08 December 2008 Season 6, Episode 10: He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited
15 December 2008 Season 6, Episode 11: The Devil's Lube
12 January 2009 Season 6, Episode 12: Thank God for Scoliosis
19 January 2009 Season 6, Episode 13: I Think You Offended Don
02 February 2009 Season 6, Episode 14: David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie
09 February 2009 Season 6, Episode 15: I'd Like to Start With the Cat
02 March 2009 Season 6, Episode 16: She'll Still Be Dead At Halftime
09 March 2009 Season 6, Episode 17: The 'Ocu' Or The 'Pado'?
16 March 2009 Season 6, Episode 18: My Son's Enormous Head
30 March 2009 Season 6, Episode 19: The Two Finger Rule
13 April 2009 Season 6, Episode 20: Hello, I Am Alan Cousteau
27 April 2009 Season 6, Episode 21: Above Exalted Cyclops
04 May 2009 Season 6, Episode 22: Sir Lancelot's Litter Box
11 May 2009 Season 6, Episode 23: Good Morning, Mrs. Butterworth
18 May 2009 Season 6, Episode 24: Baseball with Better Steroids
Season 7
21 September 2009 Season 7, Episode 1: 818-jklpuzo
28 September 2009 Season 7, Episode 2: Whipped Unto the Third Generation
05 October 2009 Season 7, Episode 3: Mmm, Fish. Yum.
12 October 2009 Season 7, Episode 4: Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator
19 October 2009 Season 7, Episode 5: For the Sake of the Child
02 November 2009 Season 7, Episode 6: Give Me Your Thumb
09 November 2009 Season 7, Episode 7: Untainted by Filth
16 November 2009 Season 7, Episode 8: Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.
23 November 2009 Season 7, Episode 9: Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair
07 December 2009 Season 7, Episode 10: That's Why They Call It Ball Room
14 December 2009 Season 7, Episode 11: Warning, It's Dirty
11 January 2010 Season 7, Episode 12: Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste
18 January 2010 Season 7, Episode 13: Yay, No Polyps!
01 February 2010 Season 7, Episode 14: Crude and Uncalled For (1)
08 February 2010 Season 7, Episode 15: Aye, Aye, Captain Douche (2)
01 March 2010 Season 7, Episode 16: Tinkle Like a Princess
08 March 2010 Season 7, Episode 17: I Found Your Moustache
22 March 2010 Season 7, Episode 18: Ixnay on the Oggie Day
12 April 2010 Season 7, Episode 19: Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His Grave
10 May 2010 Season 7, Episode 20: I Called Him Magoo
17 May 2010 Season 7, Episode 21: Gumby with a Pokey
24 May 2010 Season 7, Episode 22: This is Not Gonna End Well
Season 8
20 September 2010 Season 8, Episode 1: Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud
27 September 2010 Season 8, Episode 2: A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer
04 October 2010 Season 8, Episode 3: A Pudding-Filled Cactus
11 October 2010 Season 8, Episode 4: Hookers, Hookers, Hookers
18 October 2010 Season 8, Episode 5: The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel
25 October 2010 Season 8, Episode 6: Twanging Your Magic Clanger
01 November 2010 Season 8, Episode 7: The Crazy Bitch Gazette
08 November 2010 Season 8, Episode 8: Springtime on a Stick
15 November 2010 Season 8, Episode 9: A Good Time In Central Africa
22 November 2010 Season 8, Episode 10: Ow, Ow, Don't Stop
06 December 2010 Season 8, Episode 11: Dead From the Waist Down
13 December 2010 Season 8, Episode 12: Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead
03 January 2011 Season 8, Episode 13: Skunk, Dog Crap and Ketchup
17 January 2011 Season 8, Episode 14: Lookin' for Japanese Subs
07 February 2011 Season 8, Episode 15: Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak
14 February 2011 Season 8, Episode 16: That Darn Priest
Season 9
19 September 2011 Season 9, Episode 1: Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt
26 September 2011 Season 9, Episode 2: People Who Love Peepholes
03 October 2011 Season 9, Episode 3: Big Girls Don't Throw Food
10 October 2011 Season 9, Episode 4: Nine Magic Fingers
17 October 2011 Season 9, Episode 5: A Giant Cat Holding Churro
24 October 2011 Season 9, Episode 6: The Squat and The Hover
31 October 2011 Season 9, Episode 7: Those Fancy Japanese Toilets
07 November 2011 Season 9, Episode 8: Thank You For The Intercourse
14 November 2011 Season 9, Episode 9: Frodo's Headshots
21 November 2011 Season 9, Episode 10: Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes
05 December 2011 Season 9, Episode 11: A Lovely Landing Strip
12 December 2011 Season 9, Episode 12: One False Move, Zimbabwe!
02 January 2012 Season 9, Episode 13: Slowly and in a Circular Fashion
16 January 2012 Season 9, Episode 14: A Possum on Chemo
06 February 2012 Season 9, Episode 15: The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack
13 February 2012 Season 9, Episode 16: Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy
20 February 2012 Season 9, Episode 17: Not In My Mouth
27 February 2012 Season 9, Episode 18: The War Against Gingivitis
19 March 2012 Season 9, Episode 19: Palmdale, Ech
09 April 2012 Season 9, Episode 20: Grandma's Pie
16 April 2012 Season 9, Episode 21: Mr. Hose Says Yes
30 April 2012 Season 9, Episode 22: Why We Gave Up Women
07 May 2012 Season 9, Episode 23: The Straw In My Donut Hole
14 May 2012 Season 9, Episode 24: Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!
Season 10
27 September 2012 Season 10, Episode 1: I Changed My Mind About the Milk
04 October 2012 Season 10, Episode 2: A Big Bag of Dog
11 October 2012 Season 10, Episode 3: Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt
18 October 2012 Season 10, Episode 4: You Do Know What The Lollipop Is For
25 October 2012 Season 10, Episode 5: That's Not What They Call It In Amsterdam
01 November 2012 Season 10, Episode 6: Ferrets, Attack!
08 November 2012 Season 10, Episode 7: Avoid the Chinese Mustard
15 November 2012 Season 10, Episode 8: Something My Gynecologist Said
29 November 2012 Season 10, Episode 9: I Scream When I Pee
06 December 2012 Season 10, Episode 10: One Nut Johnson
13 December 2012 Season 10, Episode 11: Give Santa a Tail-Hole
03 January 2013 Season 10, Episode 12: Welcome to Alancrest
10 January 2013 Season 10, Episode 13: Grab A Feather And Get In Line
31 January 2013 Season 10, Episode 14: Run Steven Staven! Run!
07 February 2013 Season 10, Episode 15: Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It
14 February 2013 Season 10, Episode 16: Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby
21 February 2013 Season 10, Episode 17: Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries
07 March 2013 Season 10, Episode 18: The 9:04 From Pemberton
14 March 2013 Season 10, Episode 19: Big Episode: Someone Stole a Spoon
04 April 2013 Season 10, Episode 20: Bazinga! That's From a TV Show
25 April 2013 Season 10, Episode 21: Another Night With Neil Diamond
02 May 2013 Season 10, Episode 22: My Bodacious Vidalia
09 May 2013 Season 10, Episode 23: Cows, Prepare to Be Tipped
Season 11
26 September 2013 Season 11, Episode 1: Nangnangnangnang
03 October 2013 Season 11, Episode 2: I Think I Banged Lucille Ball
10 October 2013 Season 11, Episode 3: This Unblessed Biscuit
17 October 2013 Season 11, Episode 4: Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank
24 October 2013 Season 11, Episode 5: Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003
07 November 2013 Season 11, Episode 6: Justice in Star-Spangled Hot Pants
14 November 2013 Season 11, Episode 7: Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie
21 November 2013 Season 11, Episode 8: Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room.
05 December 2013 Season 11, Episode 9: Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer
12 December 2013 Season 11, Episode 10: On vodka, on soda, on blender, on Mixer!
02 Jan 2014 Season 11, Episode 11: Tazed In The Lady Nuts
09 Jan 2014 Season 11, Episode 12: Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball.
30 Jan 2014 Season 11, Episode 13: Bite Me, Supreme Court
06 Feb 2014 Season 11, Episode 14: Three Fingers of Creme de Menthe
27 Feb 2014 Season 11, Episode 15: Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin
06 Mar 2014 Season 11, Episode 16: How to Get Rid of Alan Harper
13 Mar 2014 Season 11, Episode 17: Welcome Home, Jake
03 Apr 2014 Season 11, Episode 18: West Side Story
10 Apr 2014 Season 11, Episode 19: Daddy's Got a Healthy Flavor Stick
24 Apr 2014 Season 11, Episode 20: Lotta Delis in Little Armenia
01 May 2014 Season 11, Episode 21: Dial 1-900-Mix-A-Lot
08 May 2014 Season 11, Episode 22: Oh, WALD-E, Good Times Ahead
Season 12
30 Oct 2014 Season 12, Episode 1: The Ol' Mexican Spinach
06 Nov 2014 Season 12, Episode 2: A Chic Bar in Ibiza
13 Nov 2014 Season 12, Episode 3: Glamping in a Yurt
20 Nov 2014 Season 12, Episode 4: Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-Eight
27 Nov 2014 Season 12, Episode 5: Oontz. Oontz. Oontz.
04 Dec 2014 Season 12, Episode 6: Alan Shot a Little Girl
11 Dec 2014 Season 12, Episode 7: Sex with an Animated Ed Asner
18 Dec 2014 Season 12, Episode 8: Family, Bublé, Deep-Fried Turkey
08 Jan 2015 Season 12, Episode 9: Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, Lyndsey
15 Jan 2015 Season 12, Episode 10: Here I Come, Pants!
22 Jan 2015 Season 12, Episode 11: For Whom the Booty Calls
29 Jan 2015 Season 12, Episode 12: A Beer Battered Rip-Off
05 February 2015 Season 12, Episode 13: Boompa Loved His Hookers
12 February 2015 Season 12, Episode 14: Don't Give a Monkey a Gun
19 February 2015 Season 12, Episode 15: Of Course He's Dead (1)
19 February 2015 Season 12, Episode 16: Of Course He's Dead (2)